The last jar of mayonnaise

I just tonight realized that the other night I took out a new jar of mayonnaise. Best Foods, to be exact. My mother’s only brand. In fact, in her recipes, she literally WROTE “Best Foods Mayonnaise.” Anyway, the last jar. Just hit me. The last jar of Best Foods Mayonnaise in my pantry. I did not know this could happen.

Then, I started to wonder about my fetish for hoarding food in freezers and pantry cabinets. Why do I do that? Like, I really had to think about it.

So, first, I realized I love to shop. Like, really love to shop. And for many years I wasn’t able to shop buying clothes or frivolous things, so I found my love and strength in food, and ingredients, and in early hours, when my husband and baby boy were still sleeping, where I am the only one in the store and the stock boys all ask me if I need any help. Free from being someone else’s person for just a half an hour in a quiet store among things like pasta and stewed tomatoes, coffee and cereal and capers, bananas. Shopping. Making it a project.

Then came recipes. If I have to cook, and I don’t have time for much else, then I can dump my soul into the kitchen and kill two birds with one stone. And of course when you cook, you have to buy lots and lots of ingredients. And be prepared. Have a great staple pantry.

And then you look for sales. Who cares if I already have four bottles of dijon–it’s .89 cents less!!!!!!! I will never be out!

So you can imagine my surprise, this evening, when I truly realized that I have no more extra jars of mayonnaise. I’m out. And I don’t like to buy staples at regular prices because I’m a planner. And planners don’t RUN OUT of pantry ingredients. They. Don’t.

I guess I’ll start looking for mayonnaise sales. Best Foods.

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